On a besoin de Jerry Orbach!

This evening I got to meet the Swiss police, who are not nearly as entertaining as the Swiss firefighters (see video). My landlady called me at work to tell me that the police were there and needed to interview me. I'm pretty sure she thought I was to blame for whatever had happened. I am a pretty suspicious character after all..
As it turns out, it was pretty serious. Apparently a 28 year old woman in the apartment above us was murdered on Tuesday night, or at least thats what Mme Von F says. She seems to know lots of details (now thats suspicious) but she told me and Damien we would have to read about it in the paper tomorrow, presumably so she can enjoy another 12 hours of feeling special for being in the know.
So, for any doubts I am having about giving up the awesome location I have here, I think this is a pretty good sign that I should get out. Assuming all goes according to plan, I'm leaving Saturday, despite Mme's attempts to make it as difficult as possible for me to find a replacement (i.e. requiring some 10 different forms, letters and certifications from the next potential resident, and who knows, perhaps staging a violent crime to scare people away....no, I'm pretty sure if she were to kill a 28 year old female in this building we can all be pretty sure who that would be.) I'm moving into a nice apartment across town (in Plainpalais, for any of you who know Geneva) with the guy who organizes the Sunday bike trips. The apartment is pretty great, although considerably farther from work and the lake. Also, in June the European soccer championships are taking place at the stadium in Plainpalais, so that should be pretty cool.
In other news, I got to go to my first ag negotiation meeting today. It wasn't like a ministerial or anything (hopefully one of those will happen while I'm here....but, you know), but officials from about 30 or 40 countries negotiating the text of the ag modalities. It was pretty exciting for about 15 minutes, and then I really had to try hard to stay awake for the next 3 hours. I'm not sure I was entirely successful. Still cool though.

Absolutely NOT fabulous

Well, it turns out I was wrong that putting up with all these rules for three months would be possible. Its just not. This weekend, I found out what I had really gotten myself into. My landlady (who looks remarkably like Patsy from AbFab, minus the vodka and cigarette--which is sad, since I rather like Patsy) has shown her true colors. My friend Nico from Corsica visited this weekend, and while I was 90% sure he would not be allowed to stay here (he wasn't) I was rather surprised to find out that he was also not allowed in our apartment at all after 6pm. This is because he is a man to whom I am not engaged, and allowing him in after this arbitrary hour would apparently sully the "impeccable house" that Mme Von F has "always kept". I have, of course, considered just proposing marriage to anyone who stops by to see me, but this gets rather complicated, and although she is not the sharpest tool in the shed, I think the woman might catch on.

The friend visitation annoyances were exacerbated by her accusation that I had lent my keys to Nico (I had not), an "offense tres grave", and by her repeated suggestions that I practice turning the key properly in the lock before going out Saturday night, as I had done a poor job upon returning home Friday night at turning it without waking her.

Today was the last straw, as I dutifully woke up two hours before the Sunday bike ride to do my laundry in the appropriate window of time (no more than 1ce a week, and never after 4pm). As instructed, I read the manual beforehand, and seemed to have everything under control, however, even after waiting for the wash cycle to end, setting it to dry, and texting my roommate to ask him to restart the dry cycle when it ended, as it is rather inefficient, I still arrived home to a dryer full of wet clothes. I restarted it again, was admonished by the Madame for causing the lint-trap to fill with lint, and went out to dinner with a friend. I came home to a type-written note laid on my bed entitled "Quelques conseils pour Lauren". Eloquently written, making heavy use of boldface in some instances and yellow highlighting to drive home the most important points, the one-page note details a history of my efforts to clean my clothes today, and lets me know all the things I did wrong. It reminded me that I was "vivement recommande de lire attentivement le manuel d'utilisation de la MIELE qui est un modele de machine d'excellent qualite", and insinuated that I had lied when I claimed that I had read it. I had indeed read enough to figure out where to put detergent, how to set the dials, etc., but this was not enough. Apparently, had there been a test on the manual, I may not have passed. My gravest offense, it seems, was putting socks in the dryer. As any reasonable Swiss person knows, drying socks requires some sort of special bag that only the Swiss know about.

And so, I have spent a great deal of time this weekend looking for a new place, and looking for a replacement for here. The latter turns out to be much easier to find, even with an honest representation of the living situation here, as people really are desperate for housing. Tomorrow I am waking up extra early 1) to avoid the post-highlighted-note awkwardness that I assume ensues after such a non-confrontation, and 2) to go in and scour the internal WTO listserve that advertises apartments.

In other news, I saw lots of cool stuff this weekend, biked to Nyon, met lots of great people, swam in the lake during my lunch hour, but you don't get to hear about any of that, because this woman has used up all of my blogging energy.

M-Budget, je t'aime!

Ah, M-Budget.... you're so much cheaper than all those other pretentious food products with their ungreen labels and fancy names. You even provided me with a reasonably-priced cell phone!

Sadly, there are a great many markets that M-Budget has not yet made its way into, and, with the exception of bike rentals (free for 4 hours!!) they are all ridiculously expensive. The day after I arrived, I stopped by the gym across the street to see how much a membership would be. Go ahead...guess. Nope! You're way off-- its 250 CHF a month!! (Swiss francs are about the same as dollars.) And its a crappy gym.

Today I realized that to spend my lunch hour swimming will require some sort of timepiece to let me know when the hour is up. So, after asking my officemate for advice, I headed over to Manor, the big department store, and browsed the watch section. Not surprisingly, the Swiss do not seem to understand why anyone would want a watch but for its aesthetic appearance and superior quality. Indeed, the salesman seemed less than impressed when I admitted that I was looking for the cheapest possible watch that only needed to tell time and survive in water. He reluctantly took me the "bargain section" of plastic watches that averaged about 60-70CHF. Why hasn't Wal-mart taken over this country yet?? After giving up on finding a cheap watch I moved on to the electronics section in search of a microphone for my computer (so I can talk to you people for free), but alas, once again I was foiled by the high prices. Sadly, I left Manor empty handed, and came home and enjoyed a nice warm bowl of M-budget pasta. Mmmm.....

Ceci n'est pas une banane

Today was my first day at the WTO, and despite apparently forgetting to set my alarm and waking up to the sound of Mme V-F knocking on my door at 8:45, it was a pretty great day! I got ready in record time (no shower of course, but this is Europe...) and made it to work by about 9:05. While checking in with human resources, I met an Argentinian intern who just finished law school and related a story to me about a previous work experience of his in which several lawyers representing various interests in the EU spent a great deal of time arguing over what constitutes a banana. The discussion included a debate about the exact degree of curvature required for the fruit to qualify as a true banana. I'm not sure what the final consensus was, but the story reassured me that despite my many misfires at choosing the appropriate graduate program for me, not going to law school has probably been a wise choice.

So far it seems that my job this summer is going to be an amazing experience. Although the banner maker apparently didn't get the memo that I was starting today and left the "Welcome Ukraine" banner up instead, I still felt welcome. The people I am working with seem very nice and the location on the lake is amazing! I learned that people do in fact swim in the lake right there in front of the building, so I can go for swims on my lunch hour! Apart from my lifeguarding past, I can't think of another job where this would be possible.

Today I spent quite a bit of time reading through case studies (one of which being the banana dispute, which I suppose is what started the banana conversation with the other intern) in preparation for the project that I will most likely be spending the majority of my time on, which is to prepare case studies of past agriculture negotiations. It sounds as though I will likely have the opportunity to sit in on some of the negotiation meetings and perhaps even a dispute settlement hearing, although nothing as exciting as bananas, I bet. In any event, I'm really excited about the job and plan to set 2 alarms for tomorrow.

Tour de velo a Yvoire

This morning I joined more glocals (yes, this is my only social outlet) for a bike ride to Yvoire, France. It was quite beautiful (click on slideshow to see more pictures) and despite the presence of an ominous black cloud following us, it never rained. Once again the group was quite international, with France, Germany, Australia, Iran, Italy, Ireland and even Switzerland(!) represented. The ride was pretty flat, and we stopped for a nice picnic and a walk around Yvoire, a medieval town surrounded by walls, right on the lake.

After returning home I accidentally fell asleep for three hours. I can't believe I have to actually go to work tomorrow!

First Night Out

Last night I joined some glocals (a social website for people in Geneva) people for a night out in the old part of the city (which I plan to visit in the daytime soon). So far, it seems that nobody here is Swiss. Our group consisted of two dutch guys, a French girl, an Indonesian girl, two Nigerians, my French flatmate Damien and myself. It was fabulous! We spent most of our time hanging out with the two Nigerians (Emmanuel is on the left, you can probably guess which one is my flatmate Damien, and Nacho--pronounced just like the chip--is next to me). They are pretty hilarious. After spending most of the evening at Alhambar (a bar) we moved next door to what is I guess Geneva's version of a nightclub (basically a restaurant with really loud dance music and people dancing between the tables). I was afraid that we would be in trouble for returning home at 3am, but I was pleased to find that Madame V-F didn't seem disturbed. Despite all the rules, she is quite nice, and today took me to some exhibition of beauty and fitness products. There were lots of machines to stand on that vibrate and supposedly you can get really in shape by standing there. This sounds suspiciously like the ab thing I once had that shocks you....but I still kind of want one. The Swiss (perhaps the French more so) are really good at making you think that you need to apply at least 12 different creams to various parts of your body everyday to keep from turning into a wrinkled old cellulitey blob. Hopefully I can survive with just my Neutrogena face wash.

En ville

Friday morning, my landlady and I went for a coffee and a croissant along the lake--it was beautiful! The jet d'eau was in full swing, and is now accompanied by a giant inflatable soccer ball for the European soccer championships taking place here this summer. There were all kinds of ducks and swans in the lake that were happy to come help finish off croissant crumbs.

Afterwards, we walked along the lake and up to the park where the WTO is located, and I got my first glimpse of the workplace. I also got all my touristing out so I don't have to embarrass myself at work taking pictures of all the beautiful scenery.

Just next to Parc Barton are the Botanical Gardens which are even better because they have animals! Oliver would have loved it--it was like a zoo, but free, and without little kids running around everywhere, and a mere 20 minute walk from downtown.

After our petit promenade, I decided that it was time to put into action my plan to become extremely fit over the summer. and I went for a jog in the gardens. Not surprisingly, I still hate running as much as I did in the US.

Reunited at last!

After a long sleep, my luggage arrived the next afternoon, and I was able to take a much needed shower. I can't understand why it would get lost, with so many instructional tags, but I'm sure it enjoyed its extended stay in Heathrow.

Here is a photo of my bedroom (sans decorative pillows). Note the chandelier in its unbroken splendor. I am afraid it is doomed to a terrible fate, as I have already whacked it a couple of times (this happens especially when trying to make the bed--a good excuse not to do so, I think).

The view of the Hotel President Wilson is taken from my room. Apparently this is the nicest hotel in Geneva, so I can only imagine how much it costs. Wait no, I can just ask the internet. It appears that rooms range from about 350 to 14,000 CHF a night. I imagine my work will volunteer to put up anyone who wants to come visit me in the presidential suite. I'm a really good intern.

Geneva, day un

My original first post, via email:

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Some of you requested that I start a blog of my summer adventures, while others admitted to being too lazy to go to all the effort of reading a blog. Being too lazy to start a blog, here is my first installation:

I arrived in Geneva this afternoon, but my luggage didn't make it. I hope its having fun wherever it is. In the meantime, I have settled in to my apartment, which is nice, however, there do appear to be even more rules than anticipated. So far, I have been briefed on how to properly operate the locks (there are 4 of them) on the door, and been warned that improper attempts to turn the key could result in damages totaling 1500 francs. My bedroom is small, but nice, and has lots of breakable things to avoid. The bed and all pillows are covered by things that are "just for decoration" and are to be removed prior to sleeping. I get the impression that they are supposed to be replaced upon waking up, but I think I will test this theory and see what happens.

I haven't gotten a chance to check out the neighborhood yet. I'm hoping to have clean clothes by tomorrow in which to go exploring.

So far, Geneva seems pretty good. I saw the jet d'eau from afar, and the apartment has a nice view of the lake. I can, of course, only see this view between the hours of 9am and 9pm, outside of which I am not permitted in the common areas.

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As you can see, I have mustered the energy to create a real blog. It may still quite likely die out, however. I'll do my best.