Doha/Bosphorus Update; Italy; Jpod Arrives

Thank goodness the Geneva sojourn will soon be over -- I can't keep up with all the blogging! Ok, so first of all, as those of you in the know are already well aware, the negotiations collapsed at the WTO. And I'm sure you all wondered to yourselves, is this Lauren's fault? Yes, I take full blame. And, as I am too lazy to describe the event in detail, I am pasting below an email I sent just after the talks met with their demise Tuesday evening, which seems to capture all the important points (sorry Ted, I'm afraid this blog entry will be a bit of a let-down for you):

Luckily, I got your t-shirts [I picked up some souvenir Doha t-shirts for those nerdy enough to request them....no offense -- I got one too!] just before the impending doom came crashing down. Actually, I was rather expecting to hear a loud boom when this happened, but instead it sounded more like a bunch of bureaucrats blabbing away on cell phones.
I stayed until around 8pm or so, waiting for the real excitement and the official statements to be made, and after about 2 hours of doing nothing but waiting (and sweating -- do you know that the WTO has no air conditioning?? shouldn't the world trade system have provided us with this by now?) i listened to lamy talk for a mere 5 minutes or so at the informal trade negotiating committee to say he was not opening the floor for comments (although for some reason nath got to put his 2 cents/rupees in). i skipped happy hour for this? it was a little disappointing, but hopefully i'll get to hear some fighting or at least some kind of finger pointing tomorrow morning when the committee meets again.

ok, end of email communique. as for the epilogue, i did attend the TNC the next day, which was overly diplomatic and boring, with everyone agreeing that "now is not the time for finger-pointing". I completely disagree. It was the perfect time for finger pointing, and mine was aimed squarely at India. I don't think I should be a diplomat.

Pictured here is me and two of my colleagues watching Kamal Nath (the Indian Trade minister) talk the press On Monday afternoon. He is saying that he feels very optimistic about the talks. We look relatively unconvinced.

On to the Bosphorus update: actually, there is no update, just lots of pictures provided by the professional photographers we hired to follow us around Istanbul (my parents).



















Since then, my job has ended (2 days after the big collapse. Coincidence?) and I have been trying to pack in all the Europe I can. Last weekend four friends and I drove to Cinque Terre in Italy. It was, as anticipated, very gorgeous, and even more touristy. We went sea kayaking, did a moderate amount of hiking (I'm glad most of my friends are as lazy as me!) and floated in the Mediterranean. It was fabulous.

Now I'm back in Geneva, where my friend Jared arrived yesterevening to help me live out my last week in Switzerland in style. I will demand a guest blog entry from him if he ever wakes up. Today we biked to Yvoire, after a leisurely breakfast. Tonight he is very excited about a planned trip to the Migros.

Asia to Europe, Doha to Geneva

Ta-da! I have crossed the Bosphorus, thus completing the first (of many, undoubtedly) intercontinental swims. Next summer: Africa to Australia.

The swim was quite nice -- the water was the perfect temperature and surprsingly clear given the number and size of boats that pass through every day. There was of course the occasional pile of trash floating by, but I tried to not to swallow too much of that. There were also quite a few jellyfish, but the friendly kind (still gross though). I met my friend Luca and his friend Ariane (both living in Brussels) in Istanbul and we all swam the race on Sunday. The two days before the race Luca asked everyone in Istanbul if they knew anything about the Bosphorus current. Most of them told us it was very dangerous, and when we tried to ask at our hotel about getting to the meeting point Sunday morning, it took a few attempts to convince the concierge that we really were planning to swim in it. A hat seller sized up our arm muscles and told us we didn't look like swimmers. Despite this, we all did pretty well, and are now regretting not having really trained, as it seems like we could have really kicked everyone else's butt with a little more effort. Out of about 350 people I finished 59th and 4th in my age group. Ariane finished 3rd in her age group and won a medal (I am very jealous). But most importantly, I beat Luca, despite his attempts to push me under towards the finish line. He even made himself bleed to try to fabricate evidence of foul play on my part...some people will do anything.

Istanbul was quite beautiful. Pictures will appear as other people (like my parents, who also came to visit and watch the race) send them to me. I thought I was being a pretty good tourist, going to look at old things and such, but it turns out I only took about 5 pictures, most of which are of turkish cats (they are so cute! and starving. but really cute!) Other highlights of the trip: drinking fresh squeezed juice everyday, getting massages in the hammam, getting woken up by the 5am prayer, seeing Luca fulfill his dream of owning a pink juicer.

After returning to Geneva, it was back to work on Tuesday, where the ministerial meetings were in full swing. And by full swing, I mean there are rumours about meetings going on, but I can't go to any of them, but its still sort of exciting to be around. There are lots of press, lots of security, and lots of black diplomatic town car like vehicles everywhere (except for Canada, who drives a gray van). I've gone to a couple of press conferences, so I have gotten to see such celebrities as Susan Schwab and Kamal Nath (thats right, these are celebrities. Look it up.) And there is a general sense that everyone is on the edge of their seat waiting to see what happens next. Its fun! Tonight I stayed late to interview a source in Argentina for a case I'm writing, and when I left at 9:30 the building was all abuzz with reporters and delegates waiting around to see what would happen in the meetings. I was tempted to stick around longer, but then I remembered how much I like eating. And sleeping. Also just before I left, I noticed that the gchat status message of the journalist who took my old room read ''WTO'', so presumably she's in the building all week as well. Luckily she doesn't know what I look like, otherwise I'm afraid she might come after me for letting her move into that awful place. Actually, after talking with Damien, it sounds like she is happy there. She must be far more ''serieuse'' than me.

That is all for now. Picutres to come shortly. And if you're lucky, perhaps even some video of the race (my dad bought a digital video camera. I assume there's several hours of footage.)

Lauren's last ride

Hello blogfans! Sorry about the extended hiatus. I've been busy! And lazy...but mostly busy.

Ok, to catch you up on the latest Swiss happenings...since I last posted, I went on Camping trip #2 to Neuchatel. Like every place in Switzerland, it has a lake and an old town, both of which were pretty, blah blah blah, you can check out the pictures (to be posted eventually).

Upon returning from said camping trip, I successfully completed my great escape from rue Gautier and am now happily settled on the other side of the lake in a fabulous big studio, all to myself (and some goldfish). The girl renting to me is really laid-back, a nice change. She even told me not to worry if any of the goldfish die, which is comforting since I forget to feed them fairly often. So far so good though.

The escape from the apartment was relatively uneventful. As anticipated Mme VF followed me through the apartment as I dragged my bags to the elevator, telling me that moving my belongings was against the law, even if I continued paying rent. I disagreed. She then tried to appeal to my inner Swiss by declaring that I had a legal and moral obligation to stay. Although I had planned to come back the following day and confirm that the girl who said she would take the apartment had done so, I was getting fed up with the craziness and the threats of legal action, so I told her I was not coming back and left my keys. This turned out to be a small problem when I left half of my belongings in the lobby on the other side of a locked door, as well as my bike in the locked courtyard, but I was able to get a tenant walking in to unlock both for me, after I verified that no, I was not a thief. Then my friend Greg, who drives around Switzerland in an SUV with Texas plates (I have suggested that he add a George W bumper sticker for good measure), whisked me off to safety in the getaway car. Thanks Greg!!

In work-related news (that’s right, although the blog rarely reflects it, I am still working over here), I was very excited to learn that the Director General (who I saw in person the other day—very exciting! if you’re a trade nerd…) had called for a ministerial meeting (well, a mini-ministerial, but still important) while I'm here. I'm told that ''non-essential'' people are often kept out of the building during such meetings, but I think my lobbying effort to convince the higher-ups that I am indeed quite essential is going ok. Of course a week of ''working'' (sleeping) from ''home'' (the beach) wouldn't be so bad either. But I want to be where the action is! Unfortunately India has announced a prior commitment that week and is trying to push the date back. Surely someone will inform them that I'm only here through July, so they can just rearrange their ''special parliament session'' to accommodate me. Presumably, the Doha round will be all settled right about the time I finish my internship, allowing me to take full credit. You're welcome, world trading system. Either that, or it will completely break down and get sucked into the black hole which is also being created here in Geneva. (http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/29/science/29collider.html?_r=1&oref=slogin) In which case, I blame my friend Nick who works at CERN.

Last week, my friend Marianne came to visit and we touristed around Switzerland. We spent some time in Lausanne, Zurich, Bern....we saw lots of churches. They looked like this:

Also, she did a remarkable job of cleaning my apartment before she left. What a great guest!!

This past weekend was where the laziness really set in and I slept a good 14 hours a night. Mmmm....boy. Saturday I did manage to do a couple loads of laundry in my building with more success than usual. I even managed to use a dryer on one load! This is a major improvement over laundry attempt #1 a couple weeks ago wherein my (wet) clothes were held hostage all night in the washing machine which, unbeknownst to me, shuts off around 7:30pm everyday and doesn't allow you to open its door outside of business hours.

Saturday was also the lake parade, which, from what I gather is a big gay parade, but not knowing what time it was at, I missed it. I did however see the aftermath, which was a lot of really drunk people in costumes staggering around the street. Most impressive, though, was the amount of trash on the streets which had been closed for the parade. How can Switzerland allow this, I thought. But within 5 minutes an army of street zambonis appeared and returned the road to its former impeccable state. It was quite impressive.

For the past few weeks I have also been preparing for my big swim across the Bosphorus next week (http://www.turkishnoc.org/eng/Bici08.htm). And by preparing, I mean sitting on the couch worrying about the fact that I haven't really been training. But for the past few days I have buckled down and tried to cram months of training into one week. I think I'm doing ok, considering. Except when I try to run...that never seems to work very well.

Finally, a bit of sad news: my bike is no longer with me. We’d been through a lot together, me and old blue. She got me all the way to Lausanne, sat quietly by for a week while I tracked down some cable cutters to free her from the $12 lock that got stuck on her, and took me all around town. Yesterday I rode back from the pool, and this morning, she was gone. Sniff. Now I’m going through the period of bike mourning where everywhere you go, you look around expecting to find your bike just sitting there, waiting to be reclaimed. Alas, it is not to be. But, I guess you can’t really feel like you’ve lived in a city until your bike gets stolen there. Plus, this gives me the opportunity to consider buying the bike I should have started with: the stylish M-budget bike. Sadly, I think even it may be a bit too expensive to justify buying for less than a month…but we’ll see. Higher on my M-budget wish list is a pair of M-budget underwear. I have only heard rumours that it exists, but I know that I must have it.

Sunshine! Pigs! Football! Music! Whales!

This weekend I felt as though I had been transported to an entirely different city. As it turns out, summer Geneva is a million times better than regular Geneva (which is also not bad). Friday night I went to a BBQ by the lake, and it was warm for the first time since I've been here. It was gorgeous.

Saturday, a couple of friends and I spent most of our day at the Bains de Paquis, which is basically a concrete pier that you have to pay 2 francs to lie on. It was fabulous!! All sorts of people that you didn't know existed come out of their houses when the sun appears and transform Geneva into a really interesting place. On my way across the lake to watch the football match Saturday night, I was walking across the bridge when I heard oinking. I turned to my left, and there indeed was an adorable little pig wearing blue yarn around his neck, trotting across Pont Mont-Blanc. He followed his owner, a man pushing a baby carriage full of straw, and I learned that the pig's name is Pancetta (only later did I found out what this means...it doesn't bode well for Pancetta). I was a bit disappointed that I didn't have my camera on me at the time, because how often does one see a pig in Geneva? As it turns out, fairly often. As I crossed the same bridge Sunday morning, I half-expected to see Pancetta, but he was nowhere to be seen. Until I passed through the English Gardens, and there he was chowing down! I expect we'll see each other frequently and become friends. After the football match (where my streak of always rooting for the loser continued, sorry Holland), we passed by the Parc des Bastions where the annual fête de la musique was going on. There were more people in the park than I knew lived in the city, all dancing and listening to the different kinds of music on the stages all over the park.

Sunday, however, was the highlight of the weekend. Ever since we spotted them on Saturday from the shore, we knew we must have the whales (pictures to appear soon). The whale boat is a circular motorboat for 2, controlled by a joystick. Also, it looks like a whale. Its basically the coolest thing ever. Saturday afternoon, me and my friends Leah, Philip and Nick (aka Maverick) fulfilled our daylong dream of driving whales around the lake. Even Philip, still recovering from the Dutch loss the previous evening, admitted that it is just not possible to be sad in a whale. We had a great time, until the whale-owner chased us down in his (non-whale) motorboat to yell at us for going outside of whale territory. He was also pretty angry that we had engaged in a brief bout of bumper whales, even though the boats look like they are made precisely for this function.

The lowlight of the weekend was probably also Sunday, Genève Plage. It sounds alot better than it is. In fact, it wouldn't have been so bad (it does have diving boards into the lake, a 50 meter pool, and a big waterslide) if it weren't overrun with families and if more than one lane were devoted to lap swimming. At least one member of the group, Nick, loved Genève Plage, which is not very surprising given his earlier admission that he has not only been to, but thoroughly enjoyed, EuroDisney. His spirits were brought down quickly enough at the football game later that evening where he stupidly allowed me to cheer for Italy, thus causing their demise. (Nick is actually Maltese, but since his country doesn't have enough people to field a football team, he sides with Italy.) I now have my hopes pinned on a secret comeback by the Austrians, who, while already having been eliminated in the 1st round, will have the element of surprise on their side when they show up for the finals.

Pauvre moi

I suppose if I'm going to be home sick all day, the least I can do is update the blog. This morning I woke up with a terrible fever and the inability to eat anything without suffering severe consequences. Mme VF immediately wondered, of course, how would this affect her. She quickly reminded me that this lame excuse did not get me out of cleaning my room and making the bed for the woman coming to see the place this afternoon. Yes, I knew this. As I left for the doctor's office, she demanded that I make sure to ask if what I had was contagious. As I assumed, the doctor thought this was a pretty silly question ("we're not talking about cholera here") and told me to be sure to wash my hands after using the toilet and not to share utensils with people. Upon returning, I related this to Mme VF who seems to think that the fever itself is the contagious thing. She told me how there had been two previous instances of people with fevers in my room (perhaps its contaminated?) and that the lady who had one made sure to keep at least 2 yards away from everyone else at all times, while the student who had a fever did not exercise such caution. She caught whatever the student had and is now a firm believer in the 2 yard rule. She even jumped back a little when I came in the apartment. Brilliant! If only I'd known it was this easy to keep her away. I think I'll hang on to the fever for the rest of my time here.

The doctor did mention that a blood test shows I have some degree of a bacterial infection, but that they don't like to prescribe antibiotics to young people. What? Is this some silly European tradition? Give me drugs, I say!!

In other news, last weekend I went camping in Sion, Switzerland. It was fabulous! For just about the first time since I've arrived, there was a whole day without rain, and it could almost be described as sunny. The campsite (which was really closer to a resort--the "tents" had refrigerators and cots in them) was right by a lake, so we swam and hiked up to the vineyards and the old castle in the middle of the town. Quite lovely.

Anyways, I think I shall get back to my full day of sleep now...

Must. Write. Blog.

Apologies for the lapse in blogging..it has been a busy week here. I'm exhausted! Lets see...what has happened....

Well, all of Europe descended on Geneva on Saturday for the start of Euro2008 (Euro 2008! Wooooo!). By about 3pm the streets were crowded with drunk football fans. In Plainpalais (a neighborhood in Geneva) there is a big screen set up outside to watch the games. Having seen this earlier, I thought it sounded like great fun to watch football games outside on the big screen. I was picturing a nice outdoor picnic-like experience where we could bring blankets and stretch out and relax....what was I thinking?? I forgot that soccer is like a religion here. A violent, riot-provoking religion. We stopped by the "Fan Zone", as its called, for about 30 seconds and then moved on to a loud smoky bar which was much more comfortable. I got conned into betting on Turkey and was liable for a round of drinks when Portugal won. I'm pretty sure that directly after the game, if one were to visit Portugal one would have found the country entirely empty, as every Portuguese person simultaneously got in their car, positioned the Portuguese flag strategically in the window, and staked out a place in the middle of a Geneva street from which to honk the horn continuously for 16 hours. As we sat outside the bar trying to carry on a conversation over the noise, I couldn't help but hope that the same scene was taking place in Paquis as the landlady tried to sleep. I could just picture her marching around the neighborhood posting typed notices about proper post-match etiquette.

Saturday, before the football matches, I met a German girl who lived in Norway for a while and so we went for a coffee and attempted to speak only Norwegian. We were relatively successful I think. After she finishes a French exam she has in a couple weeks we plan to meet regularly and (hopefully) recruit a real Norwegian or two to correct us.

Sunday I went on the usual Sunday cycling trip, this one to Lausanne, which was considerably farther than the usual destination. We went over 80km there and then took the train back. This took far longer than anticipated as the group included 20 people, and the amount of stopping/waiting seems to increase with the size of the group. But it was worth it--the ride, especially the last bit along the lake, was gorgeous!

At work I have been learning more than I ever wanted to know about aflatoxins (I'll let you google it) and have been gradually improving my running abilities. Although apparently not as much as I thought... last Monday when I came back from my run the security guard commented on how short a time I'd been gone. Now I make sure to spend an extra 10 to 15 minutes stretching before coming back. I also tried out the indoor pool near work, which is pretty good. I found what appeared to be the best deal in Switzerland at Migros (of course): four boxes of petits beurres (cookies) for only 5 francs!! Unfortunately, having four boxes of petits beurres in my desk raises my daily cookie consumption to 1 box/day. Yesterday I it took all of my willpower to avoid the ongoing cookie sale and buy rice cakes instead. I don't know how much longer I can hold out though.

Last week I also discovered that my WTO badge gets me into the main UN building, so I had lunch in the Palais de Nations with a woman that I know from an Arabic class in SF who works at UNHCR. Its like a museum in there--I need to go back and take the tour sometime.

The research paper I helped work on at ITC last semester is now posted on the GTAP website at: https://www.gtap.agecon.purdue.edu/resources/download/3983.pdf. My colleague Michael is at the GTAP conference in Helsinki this week presenting it. My debut on the economics scene!! I'm so excited!

Things I have learned this week:
-In French, walkie-talkie is talkie-walkie
-We are all going to die from carcinogenic aflatoxins in our peanut butter. Unless we're European, in which case we will die from aflatoxins in something else, like corn. If anyone manages to avoid the list of food containing aflatoxins, they will most likely be taken down by WMDs previously hidden by Saddam Hussein containing, you guessed it, aflatoxins.
-Damien must be using toilet paper to remove his make-up, because I certainly haven't done so (although I admit I have occasionally used it to blow my nose. Shame on me.)
-Getting a Maîtrise makes a lot more sense than getting a Maîtresse. For me anyways.
-I like watching football.
-Swimming with plastic paddles on your hands is dangerous and against the rules. Doing handstands on the high dive and having your friends push you off is ok.
-Swiss Indian food is my kind of Indian food (no spiciness!)
-If you offer to take someone to dinner as a thank you and plan to spend less than 120 bucks, don't let them pick the restaurant. Also, don't live in Switzerland.

I miss Oliver

...and everyone else too, I suppose. But mostly Oliver. What do you think he's doing right now? Sleeping? Begging for food? Sitting in a box? He's so cute.

Apart from missing Oliver, I've been going to work as usual, and realized that this week I broke my (2-week) streak of having problems showing up on time on Mondays. The first Monday I forgot to set my alarm, and last Monday we had a workshop at the Hotel Epsom, but I was pretty sure it was at the Hotel Eden. The staff at the Hotel Eden disagreed with me, and finally I had to take their word that I was in the wrong place. At this point, I knew I would be a bit late, but it wouldn't be so bad. I recognized the name of the street where the right hotel was located as being somewhere in Paquis (my neighborhood), and hopped in the bus back there. I asked the driver if he knew where rue Richemont was. He told me to get off at Monthoux. So, at Monthoux I asked if he could tell me which direction I should walk to get there. "Monthoux," he said. Hmm...suspicious. No problem, I'll just ask one of these native Genevans where it is. Paquis is quite small, surely someone will know. Well, as it happens, there are no natives in Geneva. Twenty out of twenty people surveyed on the street have never heard of rue Richemont, even though the sample included deliverymen, staff of hotels in the same chain as the Epsom, and people standing less than half a block from rue Richemont. After circling the neighborhood for a good half-hour, I finally landed upon the Hotel Epsom, approximately a block and half from my apartment. Doh! Luckily my disruptive entrance into the workshop was followed by introductions wherein we were to give an embarassing fact about ourselves, so I was able to easily provide my excuse for being so late.

Strangely, two days after my harrowing search for the Epsom, I was walking to work when a man on a bike stopped and asked me if I knew where rue Richemont was. What?! This is not fair. Does he know how lucky he is to have happened upon the one person in all of Switzerland that knows where this street is?? I should have charged a hefty fee for divulging this privileged information.

In other news, I have found a few parties interested in taking over my room at the end of June. I feel too guilty to deceive anyone into living here without letting them know how it will be, so hopefully there will be at least one apartment-seeker desperate enough to take it. It probably also doesn't help that the front page of the Geneve Tribune last week had a giant picture of the entrance to our building next to the headline "Une prostituée est égorgée aux Pâquis" (full article, and another picture of the hallway in my building: http://www.tdg.ch/pages/home/tribune_de_geneve/l_actu/geneve_
et_region/detail_geneve/(contenu)/231955)

New bike!

This has been a pretty productive weekend--I successfully did a load of laundry, swam in the lake, rediscovered my dislike of clubbing, got a used bike, biked around the countryside, and, most importantly, found a fabulous new apartment!

I have decided to stay put in my current apartment until the end of June, when I will move into a really nice studio in Eaux-Vives until I leave. Hopefully the next month here will be ok. Now that I know not to put anything in the dryer (Did you know that there is no such thing as a dryer that can dry a towel? It just doesn't exist!), things should go much more smoothly.

Saturday morning I woke up early to go to the used bike sale in a square near my apartment. I was able to get this lovely bike for only 100CHF (believe me, this is incredibly cheap). Take that Switzerland! I bought something reasonably priced in you!

After buying the bike, I developed an intense craving for mexican food, and was surprised to find out (via googlemaps) that Geneva does indeed have a Mexican restaurant. Nacho and I tried to go at 2pm, but I had forgotten that in Geneva, restaurants are only open when you're not hungry. So, after settling for non-Mexican food, I took my new bike for a spin around town. I passed by the Geneve-plage and remembered that the big Olympic sized pool there was to open that day. So I rode home, grabbed my bathing suit, and took a boat back across the lake to discover that the pool was still under renovation that was meant to have been completed. But---the lake portion of the plage was open for swimming, despite being 15 degrees and under overcast skies. But, since I had made the effort to come, I felt I must swim, so in I went, bikini and all. The lifeguards thought I was crazy. It was pretty cold, but I got used to it.

Saturday evening, my wise bike shopping was completely canceled out by a night out on the town. I was convinced to go out to a club with my Nigerian friends and several of their friends who seem to know all about this clubbing scene. Part of said scene consists of people hovering around the entrance of the club hoping to get in so that they can be seen there. The bouncers wave some in and turn others away depending on who you know and how cool you look (sunglasses = cool). Apparently someone we were with knew people there, but our group of 11 was too large to allowed in under any circumstances. So, we moved to the appropriately named B-club. I think I much prefer the waiting outside part of clubbing to the being in the club part. It was basically a smoke filled den full of 18 year old dancing and really loud music. (Am I old? It sounds like I might be old.) Anyways, I left before finding out how much the large bottle of vodka ordered by the table cost. My guess--800CHF. I'm not exaggerating. I'll ask my friend next time I see him.

This morning after a very difficult internal debate about getting out of bed, I managed to make it to the Sunday cycling group. In my half-awake state, I accidentally ordered a tartine of what is apparently the Swiss equivalent of vegemite. EW. The ride was really nice, along the Arve and then through the countryside and vineyards. Beautiful!

After the ride, I went to see the new studio in Eaux-Vives, which is on the other side of the lake and a really nice part of town. The studio is great--really big, great location, and best of all, my landlady doesn't live there. Now I just need to find my replacement for here, but it should be easier since I have a few weeks.

Now the weekend has once again come to an end, and I am realizing that I didn't get to sleep as much as I would have liked. Perhaps next weekend...

On a besoin de Jerry Orbach!

This evening I got to meet the Swiss police, who are not nearly as entertaining as the Swiss firefighters (see video). My landlady called me at work to tell me that the police were there and needed to interview me. I'm pretty sure she thought I was to blame for whatever had happened. I am a pretty suspicious character after all..
As it turns out, it was pretty serious. Apparently a 28 year old woman in the apartment above us was murdered on Tuesday night, or at least thats what Mme Von F says. She seems to know lots of details (now thats suspicious) but she told me and Damien we would have to read about it in the paper tomorrow, presumably so she can enjoy another 12 hours of feeling special for being in the know.
So, for any doubts I am having about giving up the awesome location I have here, I think this is a pretty good sign that I should get out. Assuming all goes according to plan, I'm leaving Saturday, despite Mme's attempts to make it as difficult as possible for me to find a replacement (i.e. requiring some 10 different forms, letters and certifications from the next potential resident, and who knows, perhaps staging a violent crime to scare people away....no, I'm pretty sure if she were to kill a 28 year old female in this building we can all be pretty sure who that would be.) I'm moving into a nice apartment across town (in Plainpalais, for any of you who know Geneva) with the guy who organizes the Sunday bike trips. The apartment is pretty great, although considerably farther from work and the lake. Also, in June the European soccer championships are taking place at the stadium in Plainpalais, so that should be pretty cool.
In other news, I got to go to my first ag negotiation meeting today. It wasn't like a ministerial or anything (hopefully one of those will happen while I'm here....but, you know), but officials from about 30 or 40 countries negotiating the text of the ag modalities. It was pretty exciting for about 15 minutes, and then I really had to try hard to stay awake for the next 3 hours. I'm not sure I was entirely successful. Still cool though.

Absolutely NOT fabulous

Well, it turns out I was wrong that putting up with all these rules for three months would be possible. Its just not. This weekend, I found out what I had really gotten myself into. My landlady (who looks remarkably like Patsy from AbFab, minus the vodka and cigarette--which is sad, since I rather like Patsy) has shown her true colors. My friend Nico from Corsica visited this weekend, and while I was 90% sure he would not be allowed to stay here (he wasn't) I was rather surprised to find out that he was also not allowed in our apartment at all after 6pm. This is because he is a man to whom I am not engaged, and allowing him in after this arbitrary hour would apparently sully the "impeccable house" that Mme Von F has "always kept". I have, of course, considered just proposing marriage to anyone who stops by to see me, but this gets rather complicated, and although she is not the sharpest tool in the shed, I think the woman might catch on.

The friend visitation annoyances were exacerbated by her accusation that I had lent my keys to Nico (I had not), an "offense tres grave", and by her repeated suggestions that I practice turning the key properly in the lock before going out Saturday night, as I had done a poor job upon returning home Friday night at turning it without waking her.

Today was the last straw, as I dutifully woke up two hours before the Sunday bike ride to do my laundry in the appropriate window of time (no more than 1ce a week, and never after 4pm). As instructed, I read the manual beforehand, and seemed to have everything under control, however, even after waiting for the wash cycle to end, setting it to dry, and texting my roommate to ask him to restart the dry cycle when it ended, as it is rather inefficient, I still arrived home to a dryer full of wet clothes. I restarted it again, was admonished by the Madame for causing the lint-trap to fill with lint, and went out to dinner with a friend. I came home to a type-written note laid on my bed entitled "Quelques conseils pour Lauren". Eloquently written, making heavy use of boldface in some instances and yellow highlighting to drive home the most important points, the one-page note details a history of my efforts to clean my clothes today, and lets me know all the things I did wrong. It reminded me that I was "vivement recommande de lire attentivement le manuel d'utilisation de la MIELE qui est un modele de machine d'excellent qualite", and insinuated that I had lied when I claimed that I had read it. I had indeed read enough to figure out where to put detergent, how to set the dials, etc., but this was not enough. Apparently, had there been a test on the manual, I may not have passed. My gravest offense, it seems, was putting socks in the dryer. As any reasonable Swiss person knows, drying socks requires some sort of special bag that only the Swiss know about.

And so, I have spent a great deal of time this weekend looking for a new place, and looking for a replacement for here. The latter turns out to be much easier to find, even with an honest representation of the living situation here, as people really are desperate for housing. Tomorrow I am waking up extra early 1) to avoid the post-highlighted-note awkwardness that I assume ensues after such a non-confrontation, and 2) to go in and scour the internal WTO listserve that advertises apartments.

In other news, I saw lots of cool stuff this weekend, biked to Nyon, met lots of great people, swam in the lake during my lunch hour, but you don't get to hear about any of that, because this woman has used up all of my blogging energy.

M-Budget, je t'aime!

Ah, M-Budget.... you're so much cheaper than all those other pretentious food products with their ungreen labels and fancy names. You even provided me with a reasonably-priced cell phone!

Sadly, there are a great many markets that M-Budget has not yet made its way into, and, with the exception of bike rentals (free for 4 hours!!) they are all ridiculously expensive. The day after I arrived, I stopped by the gym across the street to see how much a membership would be. Go ahead...guess. Nope! You're way off-- its 250 CHF a month!! (Swiss francs are about the same as dollars.) And its a crappy gym.

Today I realized that to spend my lunch hour swimming will require some sort of timepiece to let me know when the hour is up. So, after asking my officemate for advice, I headed over to Manor, the big department store, and browsed the watch section. Not surprisingly, the Swiss do not seem to understand why anyone would want a watch but for its aesthetic appearance and superior quality. Indeed, the salesman seemed less than impressed when I admitted that I was looking for the cheapest possible watch that only needed to tell time and survive in water. He reluctantly took me the "bargain section" of plastic watches that averaged about 60-70CHF. Why hasn't Wal-mart taken over this country yet?? After giving up on finding a cheap watch I moved on to the electronics section in search of a microphone for my computer (so I can talk to you people for free), but alas, once again I was foiled by the high prices. Sadly, I left Manor empty handed, and came home and enjoyed a nice warm bowl of M-budget pasta. Mmmm.....

Ceci n'est pas une banane

Today was my first day at the WTO, and despite apparently forgetting to set my alarm and waking up to the sound of Mme V-F knocking on my door at 8:45, it was a pretty great day! I got ready in record time (no shower of course, but this is Europe...) and made it to work by about 9:05. While checking in with human resources, I met an Argentinian intern who just finished law school and related a story to me about a previous work experience of his in which several lawyers representing various interests in the EU spent a great deal of time arguing over what constitutes a banana. The discussion included a debate about the exact degree of curvature required for the fruit to qualify as a true banana. I'm not sure what the final consensus was, but the story reassured me that despite my many misfires at choosing the appropriate graduate program for me, not going to law school has probably been a wise choice.

So far it seems that my job this summer is going to be an amazing experience. Although the banner maker apparently didn't get the memo that I was starting today and left the "Welcome Ukraine" banner up instead, I still felt welcome. The people I am working with seem very nice and the location on the lake is amazing! I learned that people do in fact swim in the lake right there in front of the building, so I can go for swims on my lunch hour! Apart from my lifeguarding past, I can't think of another job where this would be possible.

Today I spent quite a bit of time reading through case studies (one of which being the banana dispute, which I suppose is what started the banana conversation with the other intern) in preparation for the project that I will most likely be spending the majority of my time on, which is to prepare case studies of past agriculture negotiations. It sounds as though I will likely have the opportunity to sit in on some of the negotiation meetings and perhaps even a dispute settlement hearing, although nothing as exciting as bananas, I bet. In any event, I'm really excited about the job and plan to set 2 alarms for tomorrow.

Tour de velo a Yvoire

This morning I joined more glocals (yes, this is my only social outlet) for a bike ride to Yvoire, France. It was quite beautiful (click on slideshow to see more pictures) and despite the presence of an ominous black cloud following us, it never rained. Once again the group was quite international, with France, Germany, Australia, Iran, Italy, Ireland and even Switzerland(!) represented. The ride was pretty flat, and we stopped for a nice picnic and a walk around Yvoire, a medieval town surrounded by walls, right on the lake.

After returning home I accidentally fell asleep for three hours. I can't believe I have to actually go to work tomorrow!

First Night Out

Last night I joined some glocals (a social website for people in Geneva) people for a night out in the old part of the city (which I plan to visit in the daytime soon). So far, it seems that nobody here is Swiss. Our group consisted of two dutch guys, a French girl, an Indonesian girl, two Nigerians, my French flatmate Damien and myself. It was fabulous! We spent most of our time hanging out with the two Nigerians (Emmanuel is on the left, you can probably guess which one is my flatmate Damien, and Nacho--pronounced just like the chip--is next to me). They are pretty hilarious. After spending most of the evening at Alhambar (a bar) we moved next door to what is I guess Geneva's version of a nightclub (basically a restaurant with really loud dance music and people dancing between the tables). I was afraid that we would be in trouble for returning home at 3am, but I was pleased to find that Madame V-F didn't seem disturbed. Despite all the rules, she is quite nice, and today took me to some exhibition of beauty and fitness products. There were lots of machines to stand on that vibrate and supposedly you can get really in shape by standing there. This sounds suspiciously like the ab thing I once had that shocks you....but I still kind of want one. The Swiss (perhaps the French more so) are really good at making you think that you need to apply at least 12 different creams to various parts of your body everyday to keep from turning into a wrinkled old cellulitey blob. Hopefully I can survive with just my Neutrogena face wash.

En ville

Friday morning, my landlady and I went for a coffee and a croissant along the lake--it was beautiful! The jet d'eau was in full swing, and is now accompanied by a giant inflatable soccer ball for the European soccer championships taking place here this summer. There were all kinds of ducks and swans in the lake that were happy to come help finish off croissant crumbs.

Afterwards, we walked along the lake and up to the park where the WTO is located, and I got my first glimpse of the workplace. I also got all my touristing out so I don't have to embarrass myself at work taking pictures of all the beautiful scenery.

Just next to Parc Barton are the Botanical Gardens which are even better because they have animals! Oliver would have loved it--it was like a zoo, but free, and without little kids running around everywhere, and a mere 20 minute walk from downtown.

After our petit promenade, I decided that it was time to put into action my plan to become extremely fit over the summer. and I went for a jog in the gardens. Not surprisingly, I still hate running as much as I did in the US.

Reunited at last!

After a long sleep, my luggage arrived the next afternoon, and I was able to take a much needed shower. I can't understand why it would get lost, with so many instructional tags, but I'm sure it enjoyed its extended stay in Heathrow.

Here is a photo of my bedroom (sans decorative pillows). Note the chandelier in its unbroken splendor. I am afraid it is doomed to a terrible fate, as I have already whacked it a couple of times (this happens especially when trying to make the bed--a good excuse not to do so, I think).

The view of the Hotel President Wilson is taken from my room. Apparently this is the nicest hotel in Geneva, so I can only imagine how much it costs. Wait no, I can just ask the internet. It appears that rooms range from about 350 to 14,000 CHF a night. I imagine my work will volunteer to put up anyone who wants to come visit me in the presidential suite. I'm a really good intern.

Geneva, day un

My original first post, via email:

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Some of you requested that I start a blog of my summer adventures, while others admitted to being too lazy to go to all the effort of reading a blog. Being too lazy to start a blog, here is my first installation:

I arrived in Geneva this afternoon, but my luggage didn't make it. I hope its having fun wherever it is. In the meantime, I have settled in to my apartment, which is nice, however, there do appear to be even more rules than anticipated. So far, I have been briefed on how to properly operate the locks (there are 4 of them) on the door, and been warned that improper attempts to turn the key could result in damages totaling 1500 francs. My bedroom is small, but nice, and has lots of breakable things to avoid. The bed and all pillows are covered by things that are "just for decoration" and are to be removed prior to sleeping. I get the impression that they are supposed to be replaced upon waking up, but I think I will test this theory and see what happens.

I haven't gotten a chance to check out the neighborhood yet. I'm hoping to have clean clothes by tomorrow in which to go exploring.

So far, Geneva seems pretty good. I saw the jet d'eau from afar, and the apartment has a nice view of the lake. I can, of course, only see this view between the hours of 9am and 9pm, outside of which I am not permitted in the common areas.

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As you can see, I have mustered the energy to create a real blog. It may still quite likely die out, however. I'll do my best.